How much custody can he get?
My ex and I have a child together but have split up. I have been the primary caretaker since our son was born, but now we are going to family court to discuss custody. We have never been married but his name is on the birth certificate.
My ex is an alcoholic but is currently seeking therapy for this. However, he is an emotionally abusive and angry man and I am afraid this will negatively affect our son. But how do I prove this to a judge? Would they even care about this since he is not PHYSICALLY abusive?
Answer:
First of all, what state has jurisdiction in your case?
In Pennsylvania, the rule of law is that a BAD father is better than NO father, and will most likely grant him the usual visitation (every other weekend, half of the holidays, changing on an odd/even year, etc) or they may give him visitation according to his own needs (like my jackass ex ... )
The courts will not accept any accusations of abuse (of ANY kind) without some kind of evidence to back it up, such as police reports or CPS reports. You could ask the judge to grant supervised visits, but again, without some kind of supporting evidence, this is unlikely.
Maybe you;ll get lucky and he won't bother to show up for the visits anyway, like my ex.
They will care a lot about these things.. You should be having this conversation with your attorney or get a attorney for you case as soon as possible.
there is always two sides to the story. how dare you come on here acusing your ex of being the exact thing your question makes you. you need help. your a little girl that hasn't learned how to take responsibility for your own actions.
you sound exactly like my ex wife. the only thing is I was smart enough to record her without her knowing, and when we went to court, and she started saying the exact same B.S your saying. I flipped the script on her. more and more young girls these days are all CODEPENDANT and have a VICTIMS complex. everything is always someone elses fault.
I'd bet money on it. that you always accuse him of cheating, you don't let him hang with his friends, and say they are untrust worthy, yet say your own are. I bet you always call him at work and compllain how he isn't home. I bet every time he wants to do something for himself like go back to school you tell him no. I bet you talk c r a p about him to all your girlfriends. I could go on for alot longer but you get the point. this is you. I bet you also always dwell and talk about how hard your life was growing up too. I know this is you just by the way you stated your question, and how you talked about your ex.
advice get counseling for your codependancy and victims complex because if he is any where near as smart as I was and understands that chicks go for the jugular when it''s over. instead of compromising, you are gonna regret trying to keep the kids away from him. stop thinking about yourself the world doesn't revolve around you. think whats best for the children which is a father and mother. not one parent who talks bad about the other. use ur freakin brain little girl.
The court uses the "best interests of the child" standard in deciding custody and visitation issues.
The fact that you have been the child's primary caretaker since the child's birth goes a long way in that determination. The court will consider the child's stable home life, family and friend support network, established school and activity routines and the like.
Emotional abuse is not in the child's best interest. The court will consider that factor as well. It is likely that your ex may have to settle for supervised visitation while he completes chemical dependency counseling (and maybe some parenting or anger management counseling).
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