Ethics and sadomasochism?
Do you find sadomasochism (bondage, fetishism, domination/submission, etc.) objectionable? Would you say it's unethical or immoral? Why do you feel this way? Have you ever tried it and if so, what did you think of it morally?
Do you think that pain and pleasure together is sick, or the idea of dominating another person in extreme ways is wrong? I would love to hear real opinions on this...
Answers:
I feel that BDSM is a valid form of sexual expression, certainly no different than any other. Different people enjoy different things, end of story. The only way that it would be unethical or immoral is if something is done against someone's will, or if there is abuse going on. (True abuse, not something that happened consensually during a play session.)
Well, one could argue that sadists have a personality disorder and masochists have a mental illness. That said, think it is immoral to degrade, or allow to be degraded, the human body. On the other hand, our society condones (keeps legal) all sorts of things that damage our (alcohol, tobacco, fast food, etc.). Maybe if there was some way to tax the S&M'ers, that might make me feel better.
We have a term in the BDSM community: SSC. It stands for Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
Safe doesn't just mean protection against disease and pregnancy. It also means that permanent damage or actual injury are not okay. If you break a masochist's nose, that is not okay.
Sane means that all participants are in their right mind. Not drunk, not high, and not otherwise in a state where their judgment is impaired.
Consensual means that all participants agreed that this is what they're doing, and have discussed it beforehand as best as possible. It also includes the "safety word," which is a word that, if someone says it, then everybody has to stop. If a submissive is getting spanked, let's say, he or she could be saying "Stop... stop..." as a game. But if the submissive says the safety word, then the dominant has to stop right there. I usually use "potato," and a friend of mine uses "banana." It's a word that you're not going to use in a sexual context.
And frankly, I take offense to the idea that there's something disturbed about people who are into BDSM. That's a common misconception, and it irritates me. There's been research done that shows that a high percentage of people in the BDSM community had serious childhood illnesses, where they were being coddled and loved. This caused them to subconciously associate pain with love.
I would say that masochists ought to be beaten, but somehow I feel there may be a flaw in that.
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