What are my rights? Can he stop me? What should I do?
I'm a single mother and my oldest daughter will be starting
3rd grade this year...I am interested in homeschooling her for a number of reasons.the schools that she has been in are academically inept and with the way the youth of today are going...honestly I don't want her around just any child...who I don't know. I am quite capable of handling the responsibilty and am even willing to change the way I make a living so that I will have the day free with my daughters (also have a 2 year old).
Her father didn't give me a chance to really explain myself or how I plan to accomplish this...he just said no. Does he have a leg to stand on? We were divorced when my daughter was 2 and neither ever went to court for her. She spends her time equally between the two and we each support her on our own for the most part. I am her main parent, the one that makes sure that everything for her gets done and handled..big or small. Can he stop me? She is currently in a school under my address
Answers:
I think the best for your daughter is if their parents are discussing and agreeing, not fighting over her. If she is spending equal time with both of you, that means that she is attached to both of you and as parents you need to make a decision together. Try to talk to her father and explain your reasons. If you really really reach to a point where there is no other choice but law, consult first. But because you are taking equal part in the responsability now, I think it's fair to equaly have words on main decisions. If the situation would be like she is only spending limited time with her father then I would say that yes, the decision should be yours. But not in this case.
How will she be schooled when she is in her father's care? Will you go with her to see that she gets her lessons or will her lessons just be put on hold until she is with you again?
You probably need to have a third party to talk things through between you, what do they call that? Sorry chemo brain. I would not allow him in the same room with her without a chaperon.
Of, course he is angry he hasn't gotten his way in this situation and is probably asking himself the same questions that I asked you.
I think you need to actually talk to the father.
I don't think either of you can unilaterally decide what to do here - you had a child as a team, you have to figure out now how to educate her as a team
You are going to have a bunch of challenges in the future so you better start working on how you are going to solve them together, as distasteful as that might seem
I'm divorced. An attorney can tell you what the law says. Specifically, for your area.
I think what you're describing would qualify as joint custody, which would mean that you both have to agree to any major life changes, like moving out of state, changing religions, etc. Changing to home schooling probably would fall under that.
Plus, he's the father and he obviously is taking an active part in their lives. That's a good thing. You two should agree on something as big as switching to home schooling. What if he decided to send them to a military academy at age 13? Or a religious school that you don't agree with? You would want to discuss it and come to consensus.
Whatever a lawyer tells you, I think you should discuss it and agree to something. If you can't agree to a change, then you'll have to agree to leave it the same.
See what he thinks about private schooling. If it is possible, then that might be the best route.
Home schooling does have some draw backs. Your daughter may be lacking social skills later on and to be honest, not everybody is competent enough to teach. Your willingness to try is admirable and chances are that your concern for your daughter will bring out the best in you.
A better option might be to become a teacher's aid at her school. You will have a better idea what is going on and be better able to modify your daughter's studies at home.;
I would suggest you quickly contact homeschoolers in your area to hear their suggestions. I homeschool, but I don't have a clue what others in your position have done, and so I think that would be your best bet for advice.
Good luck!
You probably need to pull out your divorce decree and talk with an attorney. Rules regarding custody should be part of the divorce decree. You may not have fought over these provision, but, if that is the case, the decree probably provides for joint custody. Depending on the exact language in the decree, the father may have a veto over any change in school. Without actually seeing the decree and knowing the law in your state, nobody can tell you the answer to the question as the decree defines your rights.
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