How seriously...?
do you think that a court takes the wishes of a three year old in a custody dispute? i say this because i am concerned that lately (last week he didn't want to even go on his visits) my son is saying he wants to live with his dad - something that three year olds don't usually say, right? I think that he is being told this on visit weekends. Also, kids always want to live with the parent who doen's enforce a bedtime, feeds them chocolate all the time, neglects any discipline, and doesn't make them eat food they don't want to (ie - vegetables), right? so if he gets our son to say that he wants to live with him enough, what will a judge think?
Answers:
you're right..my daughter had the same problem with her ex..the judge rule that my daughter was providing a better home than ex could..
I think the courts realize this and don't give much credence to children under 12, they go rather by past history & other important factors. If both things are equal, then usually the mother gets custody.
Oh no! I'm afraid you're right! It's time for you to get a GOOD lawyer and explain to him/her exactly what you explained here. Don't lose anymore time!
I wish I knew where else to suggest to go for advice besides a lawyer. Hopefully someone here will know more about these matters.
I wish you the best of luck! Adela
The court will not take the opinion of a 3 year old into consideration when it comes to custody. At that point they haven't got the vaguest idea of what they really want or what is best of them. My kids went through the same thing with my ex. My husband likes to call their visitation trips to the "state fair" because really that's what it is. Sure, they love it when they can eat whatever they want, stay up all night, play games until their eyes are so dry they are burning and red, but in reality they know full well that is not what is best for them. So while at the time they think they want to have that all the time, deep down they want the discipline, the routine. Don't worry at all about what a 3 year old might say right after visitation, I'm sure the courts won't either.
First, you claim that 3-year-olds don't tend to say they want to live with the other parent and then you claim that, well, even if he does say this and means it, it's because he doesn't have any rules there. Which one is it? Is he being told to say this or is he saying this on his own because he doesn't have any rules over there? Frankly, I think you'd better get your story straight before you go to court.
Second, it sounds like your hatred for you son's father is getting in the way of parenting for both of you, providing that he dislikes you as much. You two need to get on the same page and stop the nastiness if you want your child to grow up safe, secure, and loved.
Finally, judges tend to award/keep custody with the mother unless there is something going on that's pretty nasty at the mother's house that would cause a child to not want to be there for it's own well-being. I hope the court appoints a child advocate so that the best interest of your child is attended to since neither you nor his father seem to be too concerned with that and seem more interested in hurting each other.
Don't sweat it. Family court judges get that all the time and are not fools. The court will give custody solely based on what's best for your son.
Sorry but little children, especially three year olds, say this. They want the missing parent. It is natural. I do not however, believe, a three year olds opinion is counted for much in a court room.
I would worry more about what you are doing that is right for the child. the courts have been dealing with this for years and they are tired of parents bickering. i would really recommend focusing on what is best for your child and making sure the courts see that is your main concern.
As for what daddy does, get used to it or find a way to not let it get to you. he will never change. My kids are 16 and 18 and he still does this, although they have lost respect for him at this point. I like it when the kids say, nah I have other plans dad, or what are you getting me? LOL This is my favorite, not because I want to get what I can but, because he has taught them this and now that is all they want from him. He is finally reaping what he sowed and I get to sit back and enjoy.
I never played his game and the kids want to stay here and they respect me. When they were young they didn't know better. now they do.
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