Paternal rights in the UK?
Is it correct that the only automatic right that a father has if he is not on the birth certificate is the right (and obligation) too pay child support?
Why is this?
Whats to say a mother is a better parent then a father?
In my mind its a case of having to pay the mother to see your own child when and if she is in a good mood. And there is no compulsion for her to allow you to see the child. There is no protection for the father but the law comes down on him like a ton of bricks if the mother complains about anything.
If a woman leaves for another man, does the law say that the kids have to go with her?
If all the legal protection goes to the mother doesnt that make these laws illegal in that they are discriminating against gender?
A man is just as capable of being a good parent then a woman in my opinion. How about you?
I am not in this situation. But it doesnt half wind me up.
Answers:
I totally agree with you. My husband has been dragged through hell by his ex wife. The law stinks when it comes to paternal rights, i have been so shocked by it.
Im not being biased I married my husband 2 years after his divorce and we now have children of our own, i kept an open mind but experience has told me this is all wrong and im disgusted, as are a lot of the people that we have met that actually work within the system.
My husbands ex wife had an affair during their marriage, in my opinion if you have children and have an affair you are not only unfaithful to your partner but unfaithful to the children of the family too. I understand marriages sometimes fail but theres a way of handling things well for the children. The way my husbands ex behaved was atrocious.
She twisted every rule in the book to do as little parenting as possible for as much money as possible. For years we brought up the children, cared for them from early morning to late at night yet she would not allow them to sleep at our house as that would mean she would lose CSA money and child benefit. We were providing for the children and my husband was paying CSA, he took her to court to apply for residency of the children, she lied like mad and as a result residency was refused as it had been my husband that left the marital home, due to her flaunting her affair.
After that she was bitter at us taking her to court so would not allow contact at all. Neither though was she prepared to look after the children herself. Instead she left them with her parents and we spent £22,000 on court battles to try to get access to the children. My step daughter during this time was sexually assaulted by her Grandfather (the ex-wifes Dad).
It turns out her Mother was aware he was a pervert as she had been assaulted by him also as had her cousins, yet still chose to leave her children with him while she galivanted with her new bloke! rather than allowing them to be safe with us.
We are now going through a heavy court case over the abuse of my stepdaughter from her grandfather. Her Mother was due to give evidence but what has she done....emigrated to New Zealand with my husbands son and left her daughter here with us.
We dont have her new address or contact details, we dont have a lot of money now as our savings went on court fees, yet we cant apply for Child tax credits or child benefit as they are still being paid to her and we cant find her to sign them over.
Its a complete nightmare that should never have been allowed to happen...thanks to the lousy Paternal rights laws in the UK.
Absolutely right! Its the kids we should be thinking about. No matter how much you hate your partner (as in Fiona M's case) it should never affect the children. Hate will destroy you and i cant believe she is as happy as she says if she is without her children. The children are made up of both parents if you truely love your kids you put your own feelings aside because disrespecting their other parent is disrespecting half of them.
To me it sounds asthough shes at bit smug at now having a better lifestyle than her husband although he has custody of the children. Her husband must have had something going for him, she chose to marry him and have his children.
I would do anything if it meant my children had a better life, yet she knows her children are on a rough council estate and just talks about how happy she is now!
I have a friend in the Police force who is now a Mother and has returned to work, now they will not allow her to do her job in the dangerous situations she was allowed to go to before. Yet the men become Fathers and nothing changes.
Since when was it harder to lose a Mother than a Father?
I think of my parents equally and i believe my children think of myself and my husband equally. I would be equally devastated by the loss of either parent. Yet the law gives the importance to the Mother. This is the 21st century. Theres so so many different situations now, each individual case MUST be examined giving equal importance to BOTH parents. As yet the law in the UK does not and that is very very wrong and children are suffering because of it.
She's left you then...and taken the kids??
I threw my husband out of our home years ago he did not contribute anything. I had three children to look after I did not want a forth. I was very happily single with my children for 6 years. Then he came back making demands. He put me through a custody battle purley out of spite. I had made a decision on the day I threw him out never to have anything to do with him in any way again. When the Judge told me I was divorced I kissed him. My ex thought I would beg him to take me back once he had the children(wrong) I would never ask or beg any man for anything and certainly not this one. Then he thought I was going to go out to work to keep them (wrong) no women should ever do this. I would also never pay a man to stay home to look after children. Instead I packed a bag left England. I have a very nice life my children have been brought up in a horrible run down council estate. I never wanted any of this for my children and I have written a book so they know the truth. I am interested in everything they acheive in their own right,but I do not ever want to hear this awful mans name ever again in my home. I am very happy now just because a man starts something does not mean he has a right to finish it. I was a single parent not out of choice but if I had my time over I would choose to be a single parent.
Could we change this to parental rights and responsibilities?
I'm a lone parent my ex-husband has never been refused the right of access to our 2 sons. Unfortunately he chooses to exact his parental 'rights' when it suits him.
In the main, women are the ones who bring up the children in a breakdown in a relationship, men move on to other relationships and a lot of the time a mother carries on alone.
What annoys me is this quibble about financial support...why shouldn't an absent parent pay for their children whether they see them or not?
If the absent parent isn't there, does that mean the child or children don't need clothing, food, entertainment? Is it only necessary if the absent parent is in the picture?
Thats the bit that winds me up!...the stupidity in thinking that children are treated as commodities...and that people like you and your partner think that its a payment to see a child when in reality its a payment to keep a child clothed, fed etc!
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