Running Away (Bad Home)?
I am 17 years old and I was just curious about some things. I am currently living in a not-so-great home, but even so I can't really prove anything and I can't win an emancipation case due to some things currently going on in life. I live in Michigan and I was wondering what would happen if I went to live with a friend in Canada and parents filed a runaway report, can they drag me back or since I'm past the border, would I be able to stay there?
Answers:
If your parents filed a runaway report and knew that you were going to Canada, yes you would be brought back if you were found, and your friend might face charges in Canada.
If your parents don't know where you are planning to go, and you stay out of trouble until you turn 18 there really isn't any reason why you couldn't stay there.
The problems I forsee are if you want to get a job or go to school in the interim, the possibility of discovery becomes somewhat more viable. Also, Canada has nationalized health care, so if you are injured or become ill, and you do not have a health care card, it seems certain that your true status will be discovered.
Whatever you decide, weigh the choice vs the consequences carefully, and good luck to you.
I am so sorry you are having problems but lots of people do and running away is never the answer.
You are 17 and next year or whenever your birthday is you will be legal and can leave home.
Talk to your Minister or someone you can trust. Maybe the Minister can think of a way to help you. Running is not the answer.
Please pray about this before you do anything rash. I will be praying for you !!!!!!!
If you cannot be found, you cannot be taken back.
Conceptually, leaving home to get away isn't a good resolution but there are some problems over which you have no control. If you leave after legal age, no body will question your actions as will be done if you leave now. I know, it is an arbitrary line but lines must always be drawn.
Since you are 17, you are very close to being enfranchised (of legal age) in almost any state. Can you wait until your 18th birthday? You should check to see what the legal age is in Michigan.
If there are illegal things going on at home, You should definitely talk to someone about it, School Counselor, a minister, authorities. Perhaps you can't "prove" it but if you are credible in your statements, sometimes adults can think of solutions that you might not. The thing with running is you'll always be looking over your shoulder. However, if you are in an extreme situation, it may be the only answer. Think it over carefully before taking action..and prepare.
If it's just that you don't like what is happening but it's not harmful to anyone, wait til you're 18.
I am sorry that you are having a rough time.
I left home at 16 and it created years of legal problems that carried on even after I was 18.
The real questions are:
1. Can you stand to live in your home for a few more months? You said that you can't really prove anything. So I am guessing that it isn't physical or sexual abuse. Emotional abuse or neglect can destroy your soul.but if you are not in physical danger, you maybe in better shape if you take these last few months to save and plan so that when you can legally go, you don't make your situation worse.
2. In my situation, my parents really couldn't have cared less that I left and didn't bother to file a report that I was gone. If that is the case with you, then you may well be fine and not have any problems.
However, months later, when my parent's co-workers found out that I had left, all of a sudden my parents changed their tune. They filed police reports and despite the fact that I had secured a job, continued to go to high school AND had found a little apartment, I was forced to go back to their home pending a legal battle. Ultimately I was sent to live with a relative that I didn't know, in another state. This destroyed all that I had built for myself.
Anytime that you leave the state you potentially involve the FBI. Leaving the country will definitely involve the FBI, IF your parents file a report against you as a runaway. Not only will you be forced to return, you will involve two countries, your personal life will hit the papers, and you will potentially have years of legal troubles. Canada will not harbor you as a minor.
The bigger problem is for the people with whom you go to stay. If they are over 18 they can be changed with a whole myriad of offenses including contributing to the delinquency of a minor, harboring a minor, etc. The last thing that you want to do is to drag your friends into a huge legal battle.
3. I left my home after a particularly bad altercation with my mother, who was very physically violent. I had no money and in classic Hollywood style, left in the rain with a few possessions stuffed in my backpack. Thankfully, I had the support (financial and emotional) of friends and was able to quickly land on my feet. If you don't have money and don't have a support network, you could have a very difficult time ahead.
If you can stick where you are for the last few months, that would be my suggestion.
But, if you really feel that you desperately must leave, do some research. Call a family court lawyer in your area for a free consultation. Ask about the likelihood of being pursued, considering your age. In some communities, even without being emancipated, the authorities won’t get involved if you are close to the age of majority.
Get more information about your options if you go to Canada. Will you be able to work or go to school?
If your friend is living with his/her parents...are you SURE that they will be happy for you to come and live with them and be supported by them? Just because your friend says that it's alright, doesn't necessarily mean that it is so.
How does this move factor into your future plans? If you had a happy home life, would you go to Canada as part of your career or personal goal path? You don't want to be distracted by a temporary bump in the road.
The last thing that I will say is this.take responsibility for your own healing. Once you get out of your situation whether it is leaving or staying put for a few more months, you have the responsibility to make your life as happy as possible. One day, all of the troubles that you have gone through will seem like it all happened to someone else. IF you don't dwell on the past and just get busy making your present and future happy, you can put it all behind you. I know other people in my situation who dwelled on the abuse that they suffered, wallowed in the hurt that had happened and years, even decades later have been unable to form relationships, maintain careers and they blame their parents...whom they haven't even seen in decades. Make cherishing YOU a priority!
best luck
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