Legal advice to prevent kidnapping of baby by ex-boyfriend? serious replies only, please?
I'm pregnant and terrorized by my ex. He's threatened to kill me and my baby, and assaulted me once (spent a night in jail). He's up for deportation soon (for some misdemeanors) and said he'd kill me before going back to his country IF he's deported (he's Arab). He also said that if I have the baby then he will kidnap it and take it back to his country (to be raised "a proper Muslim"). I told him he would never get a passport. He scoffed "You think this would be done legally? You have no idea how easy it would be for me to kidnap a baby using underground connections". I have a restraining order on him & have since pressed charges for phone threats and violation of restraining order. I'm a model citizen & this is so far beyond my reality I'm beside myself. Of course his name will not go on the birth cert, but he said he'll get DNA test and fight for custody. I've thought of changing my name, moving to another state or country before or after the birth.. Where do I turn?
Answers:
I'm glad you're safe right now. *hugs*
I would suggest going interstate and living with a old, close friend/family member that he knows nothing about. If you're really scared and want to apply for a change of name you must do it before the child's birth because then the child can be registered with your new surname (no need for 2 change of names). I am un-familiar at the process of change of name in the US (partly because finding anything to do with Americans varies from state to state (major headache)) but I believe you may have to take out a notification in the paper as well as go to court to request it. You may be able to overide this if you believe your safety is at risk (with the police report) and you will have to state specifically that you want this done.
If he's not on the birth certificate you can definately get a passport without the father's consent more easily. They may question you why you haven't listed him though. If you can get out of the country before the child's birth (this may put further stress on you being in a new country, travelling and having no friends) you must remember that the US is one of the few remaining countries that offer citizenship via birth (your child will not get automatic citizenship in another country just by being born on foreign soil). Your child will still need to be registered as an American if you're American unless you have dual citizenship you may be able to push it under that.
If you want a lawyer you're mainly after family law or a general lawyer. If you go to court this can be a problem as you may not be able to leave the state without informing the father.
You will be in trouble if your ex-boyfriend gets the child out of the country because a lot of muslim countries give the father more power than the mother and they're not listed as countries that have international laws in place to prevent child abductions. Have you read the book Not Without My Daughter? Scary.
i say you go live with a friend/relative he doesn't know about out of state, preferably one who has many people in the house, or is well known around the neighborhood, so if anything suspicious pops up, then it might be seen more easliy
he wants to turn the baby into a terrorist
Whenever he's gone try calling the police and asking them for protection for you and your baby. Tell them what happened and how he threatened you. If you are scared about calling the police call a friend and tell him or her to call 911 and tell her when to call also. Then maybe you'll be free of your ex. Don't be afraid. Stay strong.
Move quickly. Your life and the life of your baby are in danger. There is no reason to think that he is not serious. don´t wait until the birth of the baby! Find a shelter for battered woman. They can help you hide and find somewhere safe. MOVE.
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