Am I doing the right thing?
My x husband was referred for criminal nonsupport, I wrote his mom, emailed his friend, and even emailed the place he works for cash, to let him know the state laws and what he could be facing. Each person I wrote I gave my cell number and told them to tell my x husband to please call me. He doesn't have a warrent out for his arrest yet, but I kind of sounded like he did when I wrote his place of work. You think this is the right thing to do? To let him know what can happen to him, or do you think I shouldn't have done anything?
Answer:
Well it was certainly a bit extreme, but if a man is not paying his childsupport (if that is what it is...) then he deserves to be put on blast (everyone should know). Yes, it was bitchy, but whatever honey you need to get your money. However, if you kinda sorta streched the truth to his employer, well that is a tad wrong...good luck!
He is supposed to pay you to support your children. you're doing whats best for your kids.
Not really. He needs to pay support, but you need to go through legal channels to work this out. If he loses his job, what good will that be to you?
as long as u arent doing anything criminal then u are doing the best for your kids then i think u did the right thing
Of course it's the right thing!
He should be glad you warned him.
You gotta go after him if he is not paying
Girl - you can get your butt in some serious trouble if you do that to him... Especially at work! Are you trying to get him fired?
If he owes you money, do it legally - not the way you are handleing it now. And for the sake of your children. don't use them either.
it actually sounds very kind hearted that you let him know before he gets into some possible trouble. i commend you for it.
Ok some people have obviously not been thru this to understand how it feels and how frustrating it is. I think its a bit extreme..letting his family know is one thing. If they are concerned for their loved one, they would let him know or do something one would like to think. However, bringing his work into it might get you in trouble. I don't think your "using" your kids either, um hello thats the whole point of why he owes you money. I would think of you using them in a dif way, not this. I can understand your frustrations though. I am currently owed a large large sum of money in back child support, and will probably honestly never see an 1/8 of it. I think the legal system for child support is completely screwed up. Quite frankly the owing parent never pays because they've learned how to get away with it. On top of it the system lets them, then they wanna complain when they have close to 800 unpaying parents in ONE county of a state. Please. Its no wonder if you don't ever make them face consequences. Personally my ex just lied in court and it worked to keep his butt outta jail, the proof didn't come till after court. What did they say though, just wait till your scheduled hearing ...FIVE months away. So now they are also letting people lie in court and get away with it, grief. How incredibly annoying and disappointing. Good luck in your support adventures.
What the employer is doing is illegal you are not to pay a person off the books. There is a little thing called federal income tax. If there is state tax then that would also be an issue. I'd be willing to bet that the employer knows full well that your ex is dodging child support and that is why he is working off the books. Shame on them. If he loses his job tough luck for him that's what happens to liars and cheats and if he is not willing to do right by his children then let him be homeless. You did the right thing nothing illegal in it. You are being an advocate for your kids. All parents who do not pay the child support they were ordered to pay shame on you. My father paid like clockwork however the support amount $40.00 was not changed from 1963 to 1978 and even at that it was a huge wedge between us (about 30 years). He asked me one day why I quit seeing him for 16 years I told him it was because we did without because of the pittance he paid in support. He told me your Mother should have taken me back to court. I stared him down and said why, you are our Father, you had a moral obligation to us. I told him you could see there was a need and you ignored it. He later told me he was ashamed as the amount he paid for all those years. Too little, too late. The financial disparity between the 2 households was horrible. Point is kids know what you pay, if you pay and the regularity with which you pay. A lack of support indicates to a kid I do not care about you. I do not care to support you. Keep the pressure on him.
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