Was this a misleading write-up or am I just being a poor sport?
I work at a fitness center and I got written up for sexually harassing an instructor and the write up read: "[Bob] is getting written up because: He has been sending [Mary] emails and she has told him to stop and he attended two of her classes and sent her a voicemails [sic]"
The only problem is, she NEVER told me to stop. She only told me she was in a relationship, and her friend later came up to me and told me that I was making her uncomfortable but I promptly stopped emailing her after that. I also take many classes regularly, so I don't see how just taking someone's class can be a punishable offense.
I did not email her until she sent the first email, but emailing her (regardless of the contents) was wrong. I admit to that, but I felt disrespected by the fact that they just piled on all these extra charges. Plus the write up had a typo so it seems that they didn't even PROOFREAD it.
Not to mention, before all this, I apologized and she said, "It's OK".
Answers:
The company is not going out of their way to personally attack you. (she is.) Once she complains, they HAVE to take certain steps to cover their butts or she can sue THEM. So they will automatically go into "damage control, someone is cooking up a lawsuit" mode when someone files a complaint like that. They only know what she reported, and have to prove they "took reasonable action" should she sue them later for a hostile workplace or sexual harassment in the workplace.
You sound like you feel personally attacked by your company. I would not see it that way. She kind of forced them into having to prove they will take action to correct a problem by filing an official complaint with a serious allegation.
She is someone to worry about. Ask if you can transfer to a different builing or branch or something. Stay away. If you can't even walk into a room without her saying she feels harrassed, it will be impossible to work with her. Talk to the person who did the write up, frankly, about moving you as far away from her as possible. Even if it means changing shifts or something.
It's a he said/she said battle. I would forget about it and her for that matter.
Edit; I would also talk to management about the situation. If you feel you've been wronly accused consider looking for another job that values integrity.
1) Obviously, it wasn't OK with her.
2) It would have been smart to withdraw all together.
3) Mary is pushing something.
4) You are being treated poorly
She told you she was in a relationship. That's a nice way of saying "leave me alone." Her friend said you made her uncomfortable. Leave it and the girl alone.
Have you ever attended a class or been informed on what is sexual harrassment?
If not, then how are you supposed to know what it is?
Frankly, I would look for a new job and learn from the experience.
with time, you will be able to put this past you...we all get embarrassed and get our feelings hurt by issues we think are unjust.
sounds like you tried to sincerely make amends and they were less than gracious..keep a low profile and don't give them fuel for anymore fires..you will survive it but i know right now the wounds are fresh. give it some time.
the next time someone offers you a reason they won't get involved with you, take it as their polite way of telling you that they are just not interested and you will save yourself a lot of grief.
I think that if they went to all the trouble to write you up it is more serious than you think, and no matter what the instructor told you to your face, you made her uncomfortable enough to go through with getting you written up. She may have accepted your apology graciously but she may also just wanted to be non-confrontational. I believe that the sexual harassment guidelines should be posted or in your employee manual for you to check. Companies take this sort of thing very very seriously nowadays, so like it or not, you made this person feel uncomfortable enough to go through with complaining to management. Think about that and avoid this person like the plague! especially if you want to keep your job. And in the future always be extremely careful of your relationships with co-workers of the opposite sex. As to the typo, no one has good spelling or grammar skills these days, it seems like it is becoming a lost art. So don't believe it was just "thrown together". You could be out of a job or in front of a judge ! This is not something to consider lightly.
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