I am angry at a doctor for butting into family affairs..please advise?
there is more complete background here http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...
but the bottom line question is my mom is dying..I am highly knowledgeable of nutrition and want to try to improve her so I want her to not die yet as I strongly believe she can be helped.
She decided after feeling better within days of starting the program (that she has now stopped and taken a turn for the worse) to change her will from Do NOT revive me to DO revive me.
Tonight my brother said her heart doctor told her not to change her will and talked her out of it saying why do you want o be revived back to this crappy world and "you might be worst and then what"..after that he convinced her to keep it at do not revive which I and brother angry and want to write him a letter about my opinion of his interference. I know my mom will be mad but writing it after she has a heart attack and it revived and dies is too late for me to express myself to this doctor. should I write
Answer:
you have every right to be offended...this was not his concern and often doctors saying there is no hope mean there is nothing they know that can help. I know people still living though alternative medicine that were also told there was no hope. something the patients exceed doctor's prognosis so much they outlive their doctor..provided the patient is doing a wise and comprehensive program and not just taken an herb or something simple but rather a lifestyle change.
I felt the previous poster was somewhat harsh and insensitive to your feelings as her daughter..after all, we only get one mother and generally, we are far more intune with our loved ones than some clinically hardened doctor..most of whom have lost their sensitivity due to years of seeing suffering and death in order to protect themselves emotionally..therefore, they should not step in on thiose things which are the families to decide and the patient due to the far greater caring they generally have and the emotional connection.
I
would maybe discuss it with your mom if she is open to hearing your feelings and a relative who you feel comfortable and loved by if she does not first and get their input as to if a letter should be written..you may need to take into account your mom's fear that the doctor will give worst care if he is angry over the letter. the fact that she felt better on your program should give you hope to continue it as doctor do not know everything. Often well read lay people know more about alternative health than doctors who want the humor spread that anyone other than them is a quack..see the film hoxsey the quack who cured cancer to see how the AMA became so strong and drove all other doctors out and made it a crime to heal people without a licence--their license.
I can definitely understand your anger and desire to try to heal her and I personally felt the previous poster saying essentially you were selfish to do so was using his on story and projecting it onto yours. He does not know you well enough to assume that your motives are selfish.
Whatever you do, reflect, do pros and cons list and then act in accordance with your decision with peace. Best of luck
Doctors ARE human. They can, should, and do counsel people. Try to step back mentally, and try to consider this situation. Is there much hope that your mother will have a quality of life that is good enough that YOU would want to remain around to live her life? While it's hard, accepting that a loved one is dying IS part of life. My mother was miserable. She knew her mind was going, she couldn't walk, couldn't use her right arm much, and was losing bowel and bladder control. She had a crap life the last 5 years. She had a stroke, and ended up on life support in the hospital. I spoke to her doctor. Then, I relayed the info to a personal friend, who IS a doctor. He knew my mother for 40 years, and told me there was no hope. So, I got the duty of speaking to my Dad, about pulling the plug. Mom died 3 weeks before her 60th anniversary. The time comes when it's over. The REAL questions, actually the ONLY questions are- "Would Mom want to stay to endure what the future holds?" And "How much is enough?" Decide if you are thinking of your Mother, or the loss you face losing your mother.EDIT EDIT EDIT I'm truly sorry, for forgetting to offer my sympathy. Sometimes loving hurts, and that can't be avoided. You and your mother are to be envied for what you've had. No matter what, your mother will be part of you forever.
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